Bits
by BarthVader
Summary: Small glimpses of various points of lives of a certain batch of teenagers. Filler drabbles.
1. The Tomboys and The Girly Girl

**Those are four filler drabbles I've written to deal with my writer's block. They were already published on my dA account, but I thought that uploading them here would be a good idea. There's no consistent tone and no overarching plot. The only thing all of those have in common is Nazz and the Kankers at the main characters.**

**Without further ado, enjoy.**

**REASONS**

"What's so cool about Eddy, anyway?" Nazz asked. "I mean, don't get me wrong, he's cool as a friend, but as someone more..."

Lee turned to her. "You wanna a 'white trash pervert' answer or a serious answer?"

"Serious answer please."

The redhead sighed. "A lil' bit of pragmatism. The moment he finds out no one will try to lynch him when he starts sellin' shit that doesn't maim the buyer, he's goin' to get some good cash. Not millions, but enough for a decent life. An'," she raised her fingers, "before ya call me a gold digger or somethin', there's more to that."

"Dude, I wasn't thinking anything like that!" the blonde reacted. "But go on, it sounds interesting."

"Y'see," Lee continued. "he won't admit it, but we've got a lot in common, him an' I. He's the type a guy who I could, y'know... _coexist_with him like with someone equal, not like with Ed or Two-D. An' compared to the dudes from the 'park, he's got the manners of a British lord."

Nazz was slightly flabbergasted by the Kanker's in-depth answer. "Wow... And just outta curiosity:" she asked, "if I would pick the 'pervert' option, what would be your answer?"

Lee smirked. "Have you seen the _monster _in his pants?"

The blonde rolled her eyes.

"That's the serious reason number three, by the way." the redhead added.

**FEMINISM**

Nazz pulled out a shirt with a slogan and a sign from her school locker and inspected it.

"Whatcha doin', blondie?" Lee peered from behind her back.

"I'm going to a feminist rally after class." the other girl replied, proud. "Just checking my equpment."

The redhead snatched the piece of clothing from the blonde and unfolded it.

"Don't tell me to watch my drink, _tell them to not rape me_." She groaned. "Yeah, as if this'll work."

Nazz raised an eyebrow. "Excuse me?"

"Yeah, let's stop perverts from rapin' people." She made a ball out of the shirt and tossed it back to the locker. "And since we're at that, let's stop pedophiles from kidnappin' children, gangs from murderin' people and politicians from feedin' us bullshit. The whole movement, like every other, is aimin' for a utopia, somethin' that we won't achieve, 'cause humans are dicks, and that's how the world works."

"Oh really?" Nazz crossed her arms. "So, I'm supposed to just sit down and accept that some people won't treat me as a human being, just because I was born a woman?!"

Lee raised her hands slightly. "No, of course not!"

"So how am I supposed to deal with the inequalities in the society?"

With a single spin of her wrist Lee pulled out a balisong knife and opened it.

"The only way that _works._"She closed the knife and shoved it into the girl's hand. "More effective than a thousand of your rallies."

**SMALLTALK**

Nazz couldn't help but smile.

She was sitting on the park bench, staring at the ducks swimming in the pond, amused. She loved coming here after school, to recharge her batteries and relax after a stressful day. The weather was lovely, not too cold but not to hot as well, and her bench was covered by a shade from a nearby oak. She leaned her head back a bit and closed her eyes, letting herself drift away a bit.

Her meditation was interrupted by someone jumping onto the bench from behind and saying:

"Hey, blondie!"

Before the girl could process it, Marie Kanker was already sitting next to her, with her arm around Nazz's shoulder.

"'Scuse me, what was your name again?"

"Nazz." The blonde sighed. "Do you want to berate me for talking to Double D, oh, excuse me," she put up her fingers to make air quotes, "'stealin' your boyfriend' again?"

"No, no, no!" the blue-haired girl raised her free hand a bit. "I just need..." she paused for a moment, mincing the words in her mouth. "I need your help."

The blonde girl tilted her head slightly. "With what?"

"Y'see," Marie explained, "I want to... get a bit closer to Double D without freakin' him out. An' I have no clue how to do it. Any ideas?"

"Well," Nazz replied uneasily, "I don't know if I can help. I can't just snap my fingers and make him want to spend time with you."

"Aw c'mon, can you at least gimme some tips?" the blue-haired girl insisted.

The blonde rolled her eyes. "Dude, Double D is a forgiving fellow, I think walking to him and trying to strike a normal conversation will work just fine."

"Really?" the girl cheered up.

"Yes. Try to find a topic that you both know something about, and then it'll go on its own..." she paused, as she noticed something with a corner of her eyes. "Speak of the devil." She pointed at the boy himself, sitting four benches away, too absorbed with a calculus book to notice either of the girls.

The tomboy took a deep breath and stood up. "Alright, casual conversation, something in common. Easy as pie."

The blonde followed her. "I'll keep you company." Noticing Marie scowl, she added, "I'm Double D's friend, he will be a bit more relaxed with me around. Besides, he knows I'm taken."

"You are? Good to know." The blue-haired girl cracked her fingers. "Let's do this."

They both walked to the bench Edd was sitting on. Marie sat next to him, while Nazz placed herself on the edge, behind her.

"Double D?" The blue-haired girl piped up.

The boy looked up and recoiled slightly, noticing who was talking to him. Then, he noticed the other girl mouthing to him "It's okay, relax." from behind her and calmed down a bit.

"H-h-hello Marie."

"Hi sw- Double D, I just wanna talk to you a bit."

"Oh." the boy muttered, raising an eyebrow.

A short pause followed, as Marie tried to find a good topic, with Edd staring at her, afraid but curious.

_A topic we both know something about, she though. What are we both doing... What does everybody do in their free time..._

"You watched any good porn lately?"

The boy's eyes widened in shock, while Nazz's jaw dropped.

"There's been that recent flick, Pizza Takeout Obscenity, and there was that big-breasted actress, I've forgotten her name..."

"Excuse me," the boy backed away further, "but I've forgotten I must iron my coverlets. Salutations!" he jolted away, almost breaking his life record, darting out of the park.

Marie watched the boy run away, then, after he disappeared from her sight, turned to Nazz. The blonde had hid her face in her hands.

"I've messed up."

"You've messed up."

**DAMSELS IN DISTRESS**

A summer evening had seen two girls walking down the street.

"Why the hell are ya helpin' me with this?" Lee asked, with a loaded rucksack on her back.

"Because you asked me." Nazz replied, with two bags of groceries in her hands.

The redhead raised an eyebrow (not that someone could see it through her fringe). "For the past, like, four years, I've been treatin' ya and everyone else like crap, and now you're lendin' a hand just because I said 'please'?"

Nazz nodded, prompting the other girl to sigh.

"I ain't gonna do anythin' to ya - I have some standards, y'know - but you've gotta be more distrustful towards people."

"No, you've gotta be more trustful." Nazz disagreed. "What did the world do to you to make you so bitter?"

"It's a long story. An' I don't really wanna tell it."

As they turned into a dark alleyway, they've noticed a person wearing a hoodie and covering their face with a bandana. Both of the girls instantly made a step backwards, only for him to growl:

"Don't move."

"An it's gettin' longer every day." the redhead muttered, as her companion dropped the groceries on the ground. The man pulled the switchblade out of his pocket and opened it.

"Your cash, cell phones, everything. Now!" he demanded, alternating between pointing the knife at the girls.

Lee started to analyze her situation. The guy was standing far enough for her to pull out and open her balisong without getting cut in the meantime, and then the odds would be more or less even. Though in that setup, the blonde remained defenseless, and the Kanker was kind of bothered by that, not wanting her to get hurt.

Her concerns disappeared almost instantly, as Nazz had charged forward, delivering a powerful blow to the mugger's stomach. As he dropped his knife, she followed with several punches to his face. Lee stared in shock, as the dumbfounded guy, not expecting such resistance, retreated with the speed that most short-distance runners could only dream of.

"Don't tell me this moves are useful for a babysitter." the redhead mumbled, watching the man disappear in the distance.

"Nah, I just took your views on feminism into consideration." She crouched to pick up a discarded switchblade. "You're collecting those, aren't you?"


	2. The Harmless Blonde

**Why this ain't _This Ain't Eds/Kankers? _In short, real life happened. Long version is on my deviantArt profile, for those who give a shit.**

**Still, I wanted to prove that I'm alive, so have a second batch of filler dA drabbles. They strayed from the "Nazz and the Kankers" theme of the first chapter, but I decided to post them as chapter 2 of what used to be _The Tomboys... _to not clutter my ff dot net profile too much.**

**QQ**

May was probably the calmest of the Kanker sisters.

"_You fucking idiots!_"

With one single exception.

"_I was shouting that there's a Spy behind you, you mental cases, you just had to turn around and blast him in the fucking face with your cock extensions! But no, anything more complicated that shooting a retarded Sniper glued to his motherfucking scope is too much for your pea-sized brain to handle, and I had to kill him with a bonesaw after he assraped you to death! A fucking bonesaw!_"

Hoping for some sort of a ceasefire, the Eds had bought the girls a computer for Christmas. It wasn't anything top-shelf, but just enough to satisfy the needs of an everyday user. Lee rarely approached the PC, Marie used it to download some yaoi pics and stories, and May was playing multiplayer games on it.

"_And when I give you an Ubercharge, eight second of cock-mangling invincibility, and you have eight sticky bombs in the magazine, you go forward and blast that motherfucking sentry gun into small metal bits, that you later jam up the enemies' asses! YOU DON'T RETREAT LIKE A LIMP DICK THAT YOU ARE!_"

The girls quickly noticed that the skill of May's teammates was inversely proportional to the volume of her voice. Marie covered her ears with a pillow, while Lee adjusted the earplugs and continued reading one of the few of her sister's books that didn't contain naked males.

"_I'm gonna find ya! I'm gonna find ya by the fuckin' IP, break into your house, tie you to a bed and bite your fucking half-inch dick off! Then I'll shove it into your mouth so deep you're gonna need a surgeon to remove it, you flaccid sons of bitches!_"

The sound of a thrown headset followed. Lee put down the book and looked at her blonde sister stepping out of the room, pissed.

"Remind me," the redhead pulled out a single earplug, noticing that the storm was over, "why do you play with other people?"

She shrugged. "Because it's fun, when you ain't playing with _brain-dead cocksucking-_"

"Yeah, yeah, I get it." she returned to reading. "And the scotch tape is in the drawer if you broke the headset again."

**THE TROUBLES OF A DESIGNER**

**Loosely based on a joke.**

The blue-haired woman looked at the neon hanging above the entrance to the car yard.

"Eddy and Edd's Used Cars & Repairs" she muttered. "Lee always suspected he'd end up like that."

"Marie!" one half of the duo waved to her. "I've been waiting, come to the office." Eddy pointed at the small shack, and they both entered. The girl sat down on the stool opposite the desk labelled "The Big Boss". _Still compensatin', _she smiled.

"So, Mr Businessman, what do you want?"

"You've been making websites for quite a while, right?" the man started, sitting on a big rotating chair.

"Yeah." she said. "More as a side job, but still."

Eddy clasped his hands. "Would you do one for me? Y'know, it would contain the yard's address, pictures of cars, info about the opening hours..."

"Yeah, obviously." She took off a backpack and pulled a folder from it. "Now, my rates are..."

"Um, can you do this for free?"

Marie silently counted to twenty. "What I'm going to get from this, then?" she asked, doing her best to not show how annoyed she was.

"I'm gonna tell all my friends that you've made an awesome website for me."

Marie knew full well she should keep her sharp wit at bay, but couldn't resist herself.

"How about you give me a car for free? I'm gonna tell everyone how awesome it was and how I'm content with it?"

* * *

"So it ended with a lil' barter." Marie finished, pointing at the white subcompact with the car yard's advertisement painted on it.

Lee smirked. "Good ol' Eddy."

"To his credit, it runs like a dream."

**MATING RITUALS**

"So?" Lee looked at the boys. "Whatcha think?"

Before the other two could say something, Edd stepped forward. "Gentlemen, I'll handle this, okay?" He turned to the girls. "Ladies," he spoke up, "for starters, I deeply appreciate that you've decided to try and win our hearts in a way that doesn't cause harm to me, my friends and the surroundings. And to be honest, I myself don't mind being... well, asked out, in a way, by a woman. And... I must also bring attention to the sheer... effort and dedication you've put into all this. I mean, I've been playing on an instrument for a few years and I can attest that this isn't as simple as-"

"Cut to the point, sweetie!" Marie interrupted. "What's the problem?"

"What's the problem?" Eddy shouted. "You tried to serenade us with fucking _Blurred Lines_!"

**WEAK**

**Alt title: With Apologies To That Other Blonde I Know**

May sat down on the staircase in the abandoned house, breathing heavily. The punching bag hung under the ceiling was swinging slowly, after the last powerful punch she threw before taking a break.

She rubbed her aching palms a bit and grabbed a bottle of water standing nearby. As she unscrewed the cap, the memories of last few days flashed in her mind again.

The dark alley. Her, having a little evening walk. The guy in a hood with a knife, telling her to hand over the cash.

The girl glanced at the barely noticeable three inch line on her left arm. A cut in its place, and blood seeping from it, was the last thing the girl remembered before passing out. The mugger must have freaked out, because when she was awoken, he was nowhere to be seen, and two dollars forty one cents she had in her pocket were still there.

_Even that fucking blonde skank can defend herself, _she thought, recalling an incident Lee mentioned at the dinner a few weeks prior. She took a few gulps from the bottle, and put it back, returning to the now-still bag.

Someone up above must have been watching for her, because out of all the inhabitants of Peach Creek, she was found by Eddy, and instead of doing a one-eighty and walking away, as she would expect, he called an ambulance and informed her sisters what happened. She briefly smiled, recalling how disturbed they were, what threats were tossed towards the unknown assailant, how they promised her she won't be doing chores for the next month, "to let it heal up properly", even though the doctor assured it was just a shallow flesh would.

_Big enough for me to pass out in that goddamn alley. _She hit the bag with a jab, followed by a cross. She repeated that a few times, before noticing a crimson liquid dripping from her knuckles.

She felt sick, her legs became wobbly, her heart started beating faster, and her breath sped up. Doing her best to ignore all of those, she delivered another blow.

_I._

Short straight-punch.

_Ain't._

A swing.

_Gonna._

An overhand.

_Be._

A straight.

_A damsel!_

A powerful hook.

_In distress!_

A diving punch.

A rusty bolt on the ceiling gave way, causing the bag to fall on the floor with a loud slap. After taking three long breaths to calm down, May looked at her hands. Her knuckles were red with blood. With an unsure motion, she walked to the discarded bottle and downed it.

_It's enough for today. _Tossing the empty container behind her, she slowly rose and, step by step, moved to the exit, averting the gaze from her palms and cursing at herself for not bringing band-aids.

_But I will be back tomorrow._


End file.
